Tuesday, April 30, 2019

What Residency Looks Like LIX: Poop Deck

Another entry in my log of bathroom posts. One of my colleagues bought this sign and accompanying door handle charm for our workroom/lounge. Seems self-explanatory.

When I was a third-year medical student, I observed/assisted in an operation with the colorectal team. One of the PAs laughed when I made some comment that suggested I wouldn't deal with poop as a doctor, since I hadn't chosen colorectal surgery. She was right. It is inescapable. I also gave up calling it "stools" or "bowel movements" pretty quickly, because some people didn't know what I was talking about, but everybody knows what you mean when you ask, "When was the last time you pooped?"

For instance, while shadowing an ER physician in medical school, I developed a simple "review of systems" questionnaire, 6-8 questions I ask all my patients to make sure I'm not missing something that impacts their daily lives: eating/drinking, peeing/pooping, sleeping/playing (or working). We also prefer that our patients are walking/talking before they are discharged (or whatever the developmental/ functional equivalent is).

Ahoy, matey! When was the last time you pooped?


Tuesday, April 23, 2019

What Residency Looks Like LVIII: An Oasis

Sometimes residency looks like checking email under a gazebo in a rooftop garden oasis in the middle of an urban hospital complex on a warm and sunny spring day while hidden birds loudly chirp their business to the world. I'm on campus on a vacation day to hear a Grand Rounds presentation about current trends in medical education.


Sunday, April 21, 2019

Happy Easter 2019 + bonus recipe

 Happy Easter! Dear Husband and I celebrated with a lovely service at church with music that was much nicer than the weather outside. Then I spent a second day in the kitchen, this time preparing to host small dinner for work colleagues. The menu included a McCormick & Company shrimp and dill pot pie, pineapple angel food cake, fruit salad, and a delicious white German wine. We ended the night with a game of Settlers of Catan.

Frau Doktor Doctor's Easter Dinner

1. Saturday morning, go grocery shopping with half the neighborhood. Sunday afternoon, realize you're still short the shrimp, half-and-half, sugar snap peas, and angel food cake mix. Send DH.

2. Begin to prepare the pineapple angel food cake by messing up the crucial step of substituting 20 oz of crushed pineapple for the water.

3. Strain the cake mix over the sink, add the pineapple, and bake as directed at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

4. Meanwhile, saute 1/4 of an enormous yellow onion, chopped, and 1/2 of a 3-pound bag of shrimp in butter.

5. Realize the sauce won't fit and divide the mixture into two pans.

6. Take the cake out after 30 minutes. Should have left it in another 10 minutes so the top wasn't so tacky. Increase oven temp to 400 degrees.

7. Whisk 1 1/2 cups of half and half, 1/4 cup dry white wine, 1/4 cup flour, 1 tsp dill weed, 1/2 tsp salt, and 1/4 tsp thyme. Divide between the pans and bring to a boil while stirring continuously.

8. After sauce thickens, pour into a 2 qt dish. Stir in a package of sugar snap peas. Cut a roll of pizza dough into slices and arrange like shingles on top.

9.  Put into the oven 20 minutes before your guests are due. 10 minutes later, turn off the oven but leave the dish inside. 10 minutes after that, decide the top isn't baked enough, so turn the oven back on to 400 until you smell the juices overflowing onto the bottom of the oven and burning.

10. Dig in! Too late you realize the shrimp still have their tail shells on. Good thing it's so delicious!

N.B.--While I was writing this post, I looked back for the last time I used dill weed--only to discover that I had made this very same recipe 3 years ago. I asked why DH hadn't reminded me, and he said it was because afterwards I had become violently ill! Thankfully no guests were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

What Residency Looks Like LVII: Sunshine, at last!

Sometimes residency looks like the first nice day of spring when you aren't busy, so you slip outside for an hour of reading articles about medical student evaluation for Evidence-Based Medicine Morning Report the next day, and also just eating a snack and basking in the warm sun, until the wind chases you inside to get some emailing done before the Diversity & Inclusion committee meeting. You know it's warm because I'm wearing footies instead of socks or stockings.


Friday, April 5, 2019

What Residency Looks Like LVI: Time/Travel

Sometimes residency looks like starting the day by waking up early to work on your comments for a conference panel with the oversight of certain feline...

...and ending the day 6 hours away at a friend's house eating homemade curry and Pittsburgh Popcorn, and playing German card games. So much winning, despite the losing.