San Diego Days 4 & 5: It's a Zoo Out There

If I wasn't going to be able to go on a whale-watching boat trip (wrong season), then the one thing I wanted to do was visit the famous San Diego Zoo. Dear Husband is not a zoo person--which may be why we only got to the local zoo this summer, and only for a work event of mine--but he already says he wants to go back to visit this one. The weather started a little cool and gray but warmed and brightened up. On an excellent tip from my new SIL, we started with the free bus tour to get a good look at a lot of different things. This is clearly the strategy for a number of people, who had strong opinions about upper versus lower deck and right versus left side of the bus. After second breakfast over a cup of hot chocolate, we wound our way through the reptiles--where parents were trying to explain copulating giant land tortoises to small children--the monkeys, and the aviaries. Then we got lost trying to find the right elevator to have lunch in the Asian Passage. Next we got lucky with one of the red pandas and saw a second flock of flamingoes (for me) before doubling back to the penguins. We made a side trip to see the meerkats for DH before exiting through the koala jungle. In the evening we had dinner with a friend from graduate school. Click here if you would like to see more photos.

On our last full day in San Diego, we planned to hit up a couple of sights in Balboa Park. First up: the San Diego Model Railroad Museum. If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know that we enjoy this particular form of art, technology, and nostalgia. (For instance, we visited the Phoenix/ Scottsdale one this March.) My father is also into model railroads, so it made for a fun hour or so of "I spy" for us and my parents. Our lunch restaurant had also been recommended by my SIL: Panama 66 in the Sculpture Courtyard of the San Diego Museum of Art.

Second up was the Japanese Friendship Garden. (This is another favorite cultural/ landscape stop of ours, which I learned about DH on our honeymoon and have tried to keep up the streak since then.) Unfortunately, I wasn't able to schedule us for any activities during this trip--I'm still smarting from the cancellation of the ikebana class we were supposed to take in Phoenix in March--but we had a lovely wander through the gallery and the gardens in the valley under the sun. This contemporary art piece made out of origami cranes reminded me that I would like to do an origami project with trainees at the hospital. I worked on the lesson plan while the others napped later and think it would involve learning about the legend of senbazuru (1,000 origami cranes) and the story of Sadako Sasaki (who died of leukemia after the atomic bombing of Hiroshima), then folding cranes while thinking about the patients they want to get better and/or perhaps the relationships they want to heal. The wind chimes below tinkled all during the organ concert over the weekend, and I could hear them because we found seats off to the side of the pavilion in the shade. If you'd like to see more photos, click here.

Our last stop was Extraordinary Desserts for sweets to enjoy with our leftovers for dinner. Then we had to pack up in order to say good-bye to a wonderful vacation the next morning.

San Diego Day 3: From Sound Waves to Ocean Waves

Dear Husband and I scheduled most of a week in San Diego around the wedding so we could enjoy visiting the city for the first time. Instead of a "post-wedding brunch," there were tacos!

Then several of us de-camped to Balboa Park for the weekly free organ concert at Spreckles Pavilion, which was built in 1915.

After that, we visited Point Loma to look at the old lighthouse and take in the impressive views of the Pacific Ocean. This had not been on my list of things to do, and I am so glad that I under-planned this trip, in order to be flexible enough to change our plans on a dime, because this was a great addition to our itinerary. The breeze up there was so sweet, and the exhibits about living at the lighthouse were pretty neat.

We skipped the museum and statue to the European explorer who "discovered" the area in favor of the old lighthouse, which lit the passage into the bay from 1855-1891. As scenic as the crest of the peninsula is, fog and cloud cover often obscured the light, so after only 36 years, a new lighthouse was built at the tip of the spit of land, down by the water.

Above: old lighthouse; below: new lighthouse (under the palm trees).

You can't get all the way up in the old lighthouse tower,

so here are views of the spiral staircase and the Fresnel light from below.

DH and I ended the day with My Awesome Parents eating seafood in Ocean Beach, which is a unique experience all by itself, and walking down the pier for what turned out to be a cloudy sunset. At 1,971 feet, the pier is the longest concrete pier in the world and is good for fishing, watching surfers, and/or visiting the cafe out over the waves.

San Diego Day 2: The Wedding Party

The day of the wedding dawned with less cloud cover than the day before, and it grew to be a lovely late September Saturday in San Diego, perfect for a matrimonial celebration. Dear Husband spent the morning with my family exploring Balboa Park. I spent the morning in the bridal suite yakking, blogging, cross-stitching, and eventually getting my make-up done. Then I went back to my room to get dressed. The groom's side wore navy or marine blue, and the bride's side wore wine or maroon. 

The afternoon was for photographs. Here are some unofficial ones--I can't wait to see what the photographers captured, especially with the stunning background of the city behind us!

Then it was time for the sunset ceremony on the balcony overlooking the bay, officiated by one of the bride's friends. They had asked me to choose a reading, and they wanted it to be a surprise. I knew that the usual scriptures and standard wedding passages about young love weren't right, so I looked half-heartedly--until one night, scrolling through Facebook when I should have been lying down to fall asleep, I stumbled upon a poem by Sierra DeMulder that said everything I wanted to convey about growing old together in beautiful verse. I purchased a copy of the collection, Ephemera, to read before gifting it to the happy couple.

NEW VOWS

When my best friend got married,
he walked down the aisle to a song
about death. Isn’t that what marriage is
all about? he laughed. A promise
to be together until one of you dies?
I regret my wedding vows, too focused
on the benign—our boundless laughter,
how I cherish just waking up together.
I should have said, I take thee and all
the treachery that aliveness guarantees.
I should have said, I will help bury
your elders. I take your hand and your heart
murmur; the cancerous growth above
your father’s ear. I take your family
history of alcoholism and give you back
a possible covenant of dementia, miscarriage,
high blood pressure. In sickness and in
car accidents. In sickness and in the mundane.
Shared calendars and anniversaries spent
arguing about our budget. You told me once
Great Danes have a short life expectancy,
only 6-10 years if you’re lucky, and I cried:
who would sign up to love something
so impermanent? O, beloved, we have
been so happy lately, it’s making us nervous.
And isn’t that what marriage is all about:
a love so darling, so hallowed and exposed,
we both volunteer to be its keeper—when
the joy runs dry, when the body fails—
not because but in glorious spite of
the unpalatable, impossible fact that
someday one of us will wake up first
only to find ourselves alone.

Then I told them that I hoped that inevitable day would be a long time in the future and that the reason it hurts is because the intervening decades are so full of joy, of weirdness, and of love. I got a lot of positive feedback after the ceremony, and I wish I could start a movement to make DeMulder the next Rumi. Happily, several guests have told me they have or will buy the book, which tells what I assume is a quasi-autobiographical story about starting an ending relationships, queerness, and (in)fertility.

The happy couple kissed, jumped the broom, and then we partied!

Good food and drinks, fun tunes, and lots of dancing.

The tables were beautifully decorated with (fake) candles, mirrors, and fresh flower centerpieces. The flowers were mostly roses with some hydrangea and baby's breath. The cake topper says "mutual weirdness forever." The funny thing about that is that I had teased DH when we arrived to San Diego, thanking him for coming "to see my family get bigger," and then we debated whether it could get weirder after he joined. Apparently it can! ;-) I'm so pleased to have gained such an amazing sister, and that my brother has found the love of his life.

San Diego Day 1: Do you want to be the pretty or strong today?

Instead of an August lake trip, this year Dear Husband and I flew to San Diego, CA, to celebrate my youngest brother's wedding and have a week of vacation. I wanted to do a whale-watching boat ride, but it was the wrong time of year, so on our first full day, I booked us a morning of sea kayaking at La Jolla to look at the birds and sea lions. My Awesome Parents (MAP) came with us. Photos courtesy of my new SIL lending me a waterproof sleeve for my phone.

When we were ready to get into our kayaks, the guides advised that "the prettier" person should sit up front and "the stronger" person in the back, so I asked DH which one he wanted to be that day. Unfortunately, he quickly got quite seasick, and neither of us had thought to pack Dramamine. My father offered to go back to shore with him, as his bum shoulder didn't really tolerate the paddling. He and I switched kayaks without capsizing, much to the guide's surprise, and my mother and I continued on. 

We learned about spotted leopard sharks, the 4 different marine environments, and the 7 La Jolla caves. Sunny Jim's is the cave that was dug from the surface and is now a tourist attraction. Our guides took us into Clam Cave, which had deep green water and purple rock marking the high-tide line on the walls.

Then it was back to the hotel for warm showers and a quick lunch before the wedding rehearsal. After another rest, it was time to head to the Old Town Tequila Factory for amazing views, excellent margheritas, and meeting (up with) friends and family. By way of explanation, the bride's friend from Annapolis brought the fantasy football belt she had won last season, which she is showing off here.

We ended the day with my New Jersey aunt and uncle at the St. Louis Cardinals vs San Diego Padres baseball game. The Padres had won the previous 7 games, so Petco Park was sold out. It was a fun atmosphere, especially since the game was close, and the Padres pulled off the win!

One of these years I will remember to put my chin down for selfies.