Friday, April 1, 2016

Med School Bloopers 2

A year ago I risked public ridicule by sharing a top-ten list of cringe-inducing moments from the first three years of my medical school experience (Med School Bloopers 1). As predicted, a year of clinicals and traveling for residency interview yielded more than enough for another top-ten list. It doesn't even include near-misses--like the day I almost dunked my suit in a public toilet--or other people's bloopers (like applicants showing up for interviews and the program coordinators not expecting them).

10. The time as Pediatrics Teaching Assistant I called a student for a mock phone interview under the guise of being a concerned parent contacting the clinic after hours, only to have the student break the fourth wall and ask if it was really me, since I had called a day earlier than scheduled and scared the crap out of him.

9. Then there's the time I scheduled an evening teaching session at the last minute, forgot to put it on my calendar, and went to a movie instead.

8. Lost on the interview trail: Luna cup, dongle to connect digital camera to laptop, digital camera, collection of dongles to connect my headset to my laptop, jewelry case, facewash. Broken: steel water bottle. Found on the interview trail: Luna cup, digital camera, dongle collection, jewelry case, my mother's penguin t-shirt, and a black slip I had been missing for some time (it was under the bed several of the other things).

7. Once I showed up for an interview, expecting breakfast, but all they offered was bagels, cream cheese, and coffee. It was a long time until lunch. The next day I spent $12 on an omelet with hash browns at the hotel, only to arrive at the interview to a full breakfast with baked goods, quiche, fruit, coffee, and juice.

6.  Another time I turned-down a home-cooked breakfast because "they're going to feed me," but all they had was coffee, chocolate, and "pocket snacks" like granola bars and fruit snacks. The next morning I accepted the home-cooked breakfast only to arrive to 6 kinds of coffee, tea, OJ, oatmeal, yogurt, a bowl of fruit, and a pyramid of bagels.

5. The time I bought a Greyhound bus ticket, forgot to print it out, went on a wild goose chase to find a copy shop open at 8:15 on a Saturday morning, and ended up having to repurchase my seat--in cash--at a 200% markup. And the bus was an hour behind schedule, of course.

4. Q: What idiot drinks from her spouse's water when she knows he's sick and it's the middle of interview season? A: This one. The results were utterly predictable. (In addition, he caught what I had just gotten over.)

3. While visiting a program, thankfully not for an interview: Tried to take a selfie with the skeleton in the glass conference room after everyone else had left. When the elevator dinged I turned around and noticed the program director, upset the skeleton, and dropped my phone, cracking the screen some more. Instead of getting an oh-so-clever pic, I ended up hiding out in the conference room for 15 minutes, even though the PD had long since caught the elevator down.

This is the image I snapped on my camera just before the battery died. The calvarium (skull cap) is askew, so I fixed it and tried to take another with my phone, with disastrous results.

2. Being late for a morning appointment because I needed a jump after leaving my headlights on all night.

1. Twice. Three times, although I think the third time was due to the car door not shutting all the way, and I wasn't late, because Dear Husband let me use his car that day.

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